…at some point, you’re supposed to leave a penny, right? This principle applies to conversation as well. Conversation only works if you have at least two people answering and asking questions. Yet a surprising number of men on Bumble seem to be wholly unaware of this basic tenet of human interaction. About 25 percent of the time I message a new match, I get a one sentence reply that fails to demonstrate any interest in me and leaves me without anything worth following up on.
These range from depressing replies that tell me all I need to know about what a waste of time meeting this person in the real world would be…
…to seemingly enthusiastic responses that nonetheless leave me scratching my head about the person’s conversational incompetence.
I don’t respond to any of these. I mean, if the guy can’t think of a single thing to ask me or a single thing to say to keep the conversation going, even if it’s “Hey, I’m not much of a texter but would you like to meet up?”, then I can’t envision what hope we have for a successful date. I generally give them about two days to come up with something to say and if they don’t, I unmatch them. I’m not going to hound them to talk to me. Especially not given these statistics that show the man:woman ratio in this area is clearly in my favor. Why bother trying to force something?
And if you are thinking, “Well, maybe the guy just isn’t interested in you,” let me make two points.
- The app only allows you to communicate if the parties have expressed mutual interest. If my opening line was really so awful that it caused the guy to lose interest, then see the next point.
- If you something happened (like a new relationship) between the time the guy first swiped right (because quite some time might have passed) and when I swiped right, then the guy should either say so or simply don’t respond, which is what happens about ten percent of the time. Let the message expire, which it does after 24 hours. Why respond and waste everyone’s time?
Ok, that’s all. Rant over. Hopefully some dudes out there will read this and learn.