Victuals and Drink

There was an old woman, and what do you think?
She lived upon nothing but victuals and drink;
Victuals and drink were the chief of her diet,
And yet this old woman could never be quiet.

We’re nearing the end of the alphabet and finally we come to a good old obnoxious drunk. In this case, I kind of like that the subject is a woman. Too many women in these rhymes are meek and weak. Let’s have ourselves a ruddy-faced, sailor-mouthed, falling down, cackling old alcoholic hag for a change. Well, probably still not the best rhyme for children, but is it really any worse than the extremely popular ones that have girls who are afraid of spiders and must take the blame for their brothers and can be bought and sold? I think not!

Verdict: Can we turn this into a bar song to sing in unison next time we’re all drunk together? Continue reading →

Robin and Richard

Robin and Richard were two pretty men,
They lay in bed till the clock struck ten;
Then up starts Robin and looks at the sky,
“Oh, brother Richard, the sun’s very high!
You go before, with the bottle and bag,
And I will come after on little Jack Nag.”

After all the sludge we’ve gone through in this blog challenge, how refreshing to find a progressive nursery rhyme and finally be able to applaud Mother Goose. Of course, this rhyme never made it into my children’s books. You can bet that “brother” Richard is not Robin’s brother. And the “bottle and bag” seems like a bottle in a bag and these two lovers are about to engage in some day drinking. Sunday Funday!

Verdict: Write this rhyme on the outside of the next paper bag you use to bring your booze to the park and enjoy! Continue reading →